What's up Bald Heads? It's been about a month since I left you on read. How y'all feeling?
If you are new here WELCOME, I'm Jin, in this blog my focus is always on self-care as it pertains to your whole being. That's mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I share things that have worked for me, things that others have shared with me that have worked for them, and things I've learned or studied as a way to help those who may want or need it.
*This blog usually contains some affiliate links available for you to use at no cost to you. I do receive a small commission when the links are used. The funding goes to support this content. So if you like this blog/newsletter and you want to see more of it use the links and let me know what you want to see more of.*
Now that we have that out of the way let's get to it.
Last we spoke I left you with an assignment. Some of you did very well shout out to you!
Others
You will probably be returning to earth for the 356,616,567,904,987th time because you enjoy it here in the slum village but hey... that's your choice. I want you to do what feels right to you and if continuing to choose anger, pain, placing blame, gossip, suffering, and choosing to repeat cycles that have shown you that they do not serve you or who you wish to become then praises be -you are doing a great job. I read somewhere that a scared dog always goes home no matter how abusive the home is. My therapist and I talked about that as we unpacked reasons why I never wanted to move back "home" to Toledo.
This brings me to this month's topic Tapas. According to "Teaching Foundations" written by Michelle Young the practice of tapas, or the self-discipline to come back to the practice day after day, not just for the asana but all of the eight limbs of yoga. If the goal of the eight-limbed path is to create a relationship with the self, then the goal of the practice is to come back from distractions that keep you away from the self and start taking some time to really get to know the self. I'm talking about the good, the bad, and the ugly parts that you try to hide for someone else to find.
In the yoga world, Asana is a two-dollar word that means pose or posture. Asana provides us with a helpful instrument to develop mindful awareness where we can watch our movement on the mat without judgment. It is important to me as a teacher to help students nurture a relationship with their practice where they do not limit their potential with judgments both on and off the mat. Here is an example:
Pootie Tang has had incredible success in a variety of fields; music, film, martial arts, pottery. He's running the risk of over-inflating his ego and if his teacher doesn't teach discernment and mindful observation Queen Latifah Very Nice to Meet Cha is going to come and slap him in the face.
Likewise, if Queen Latifah Very Nice to Meet Cha is struggling with flexibility or movement, there is a risk that she will leave the practice altogether and stick to slapping cats and dogs alike if her teacher doesn't teach mindful compassion for the way her body moves.
How I lit my fire
This brings us back to the topic of tapas your fire, your willpower, or self-disciple. Self-discipline is the ability to control one's feelings and overcome one's weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it. Here is a personal example for you. When I moved back to Toledo I was not happy about it. I briefly speak about it in my book "The Bald Headed Chronicles" if you don't have your copy no worries here is the link https://amzn.to/3mooLGb
As a person living with and healing from PTSD and Trauma-informed yoga leader, I know that I could potentially be activated daily by something that may seem small or meaningless to someone else. I used to actively avoid people, places, and things that could send my nervous system into overdrive. Moving back was already activating enough for me. Every day I left my house I had to tell myself "this is not the same Toledo you knew when you were a child. You are safe now. You don't have to tell anyone where you are if it disturbs your peace." That was cute until I had to live with family members that cause activation and didn't understand boundaries then add severing a relationship with someone I'd been with for over a decade. Chile my days looked like
I knew that was unhealthy so I started looking for a counselor in my area. The process of looking for a doctor is already annoying but to look for a mental health professional adds another 5-pound bag of lemons to the boiling water. I come from a family that is very much "we pray because we don't talk to counselors" black. They had a very hard time understanding why I needed to seek counsel when I have a degree in counseling.
I don't know if you have ever seen or heard of the TV show A.P. Bio about a man that moves back to his hometown of Toledo Ohio after his mother dies. He takes a job as a substitute at a local high school and that's where the story begins. This show is hilarious and I connected with it a lot because as the story kept unfolding I realized I was Jake and we both needed to go to counseling before we told another person to shut up.
Here is a little reference if you read the above passage and are now intrigued by who Jake is and how we relate. https://youtu.be/VMe6AJMO4nA
Now if you are in a rabbit hole trying to figure out where you can watch full episodes sign up for Peacock. It is a free streaming platform that allows you to watch hundreds of your favorite shows and movies like Hart to Heart with Kevin heart and Pootie Tang
The person reading this newsletter
Right, Diane- it was SMH anyway. I chose to stop struggling and keep going to counseling. When I outgrow a counselor I take the steps needed to find another one that can help me through the next phase of my journey. It is essentially like getting a new doctor. When your doctor leaves the practice you don't stop going to the doctor altogether. You find a new one that meets your needs.
I also believe in going for regular maintenance visits just like getting an oil change on your car. You can't be out here with no oil change- your car won't run right. The things that I have experienced happened over my lifetime, it's not something that is going to magically be fixed by 6 counseling sessions. I have to keep going especially on the days I don't even want to talk to my counselor. Those are the days the major breakthroughs happen. Your mind is running the show so make sure you give it the things it needs to do its job and run smoothly.
In counseling, I am reminded of the healthy ways to cope with the things that I didn't even realize I had still been carrying in my subconscious mind. Healthy coping skills like
Coloring
Writing
Crafting for fun (my therapist reminded me that I used to love making things but I stopped wanting to do them when they changed from a fun outlet and a way to blow off steam to me being dependant on the sales of my crafts to eat and pay bills during the paneramadingdong adding another layer of stress we are still unpacking. It's very much ghetto in adultHOOD I give it a -100 review on yelp, Amazon, Pinterest, Google, and anywhere else I can leave a review. AdultHOOD- WOULD NOT RECOMMEND.)
Yoga
Skating
Dance
Exercise
And the list goes on. I actually add something new monthly, and the list changes with the seasons to adapt to the things I need during that time.
How I keep my fire lit-
If you have my book I talk about creating an anchor chart using the acronym WAVE.
W: Why are you doing this?
A: Analyze-What are you looking to get out of this journey?
V: Venture-Take steps towards the risky and daring parts of your journey.
E: Execute-Carry out the plan. Stop talking about it and be about it.
That last one is one I have to look in the mirror and say to myself often from the seat of the observer. "Jin, just shut up and do the thing."
Closing and announcements
I want to say thank you for spending your time reading this blog/newsletter as I encourage you to keep doing your things. Writing, crafting, creating, and sharing are a couple of my things and I am happy to do them on a regular and consistent basis. When you talk I listen so keep telling me what's been helpful for you and what you would like to see more of. It helps to bring you more of what you need.
There are new shirts in the shop you can find them by clicking the link on this website that says shop. Here is the link https://www.yougrowjin.us/shop go throw some things in the cart and don't forget to pay for them on your way out.
I also have an Etsy shop but the YougrowJin shop has things available that the Etsy shop doesn’t so I would advise you to check out both. Here is the link for that shop
Stay connected follow me on
Instagram: @baldheadedbusiness
Facebook: The Bald Headed Chronicles
Twitter: @baldiewonder (I tweet randomly)
Youtube: Less Raggedy with Baldie Lox (videos come out randomly so you have to subscribe and turn on your notifications)
Until next time remember, we are all bald-headed under our hair so keep minding your bald-headed business. Namaste
Dress: Artcareshop
Etsy: Artcareshop
IG: @artcareshop