Updated: Sep 7, 2021
What's up Bald heads?
Did you enjoy your long weekend? As I wind down and get ready for school in the morning I just wanted to start the month off with our off-the-mat yoga lesson.
If you are new here WELCOME, I'm Jin, in this blog my focus is always on self-care as it pertains to your whole being. That's mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I share things that have worked for me, things that I've heard worked for others and things I've learned or studied as a way to help those who may want or need it.
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I want to first start by saying thank you to all of the people who have been following this blog since the beginning of time. If you have been a pillar of the community you know this blog started off really rocky.
It was messy, it was ugly, it was raw, unedited, and full of color purple moments.
Yea girl was *Big Inhale* learning yogic principles, counseling theory, ethical practices, healing from traumatic life events that were taking place in real-time instead of ignoring them like I would have in the past, trying to put everything I was learning into practice, and run a black ass business. While I did have counsel my therapist was a white man who knows that he knew nothing about being a black woman standing in the longest line of the Panera bread (a pandemic) while my people were being killed what seemed to be daily and we still to this day don't have justice for more than half of them... needless to say, he was not very much help. I had to try to be strong for myself and be my own therapist until I could find proper support *Full Exhale*.
While defending my healing process I was super defense about anything I held dear to me. I was in a rough spot and while I tried to get out I kept getting pulled down by the crabs in the barrel.
During this time I accidentally joined a cult. Yes, I said what I said... I accidentally joined a cult. I became a member of this accountability culture. In this space, people ask you to hold them accountable for things they should be holding themselves accountable for. Looking back I get why we needed each other however we showed very little compassion for people on their rough days. The days that just seemed unbearable to show up for anyone but yourself.
Old pillars this might sound familiar to you but just sit tight we have new members that don't know how far we've come.
There were days that I was very strong mentally, emotionally, and physically and there were days where sitting in the house actively ignoring phone calls, emails, facetime calls, notifications were the best thing for me. I'd been taking on tasks trying to help raggedy people become less raggedy with hopes that doing the work together would get us where we wanted to go. This is when it got ugly... the real raggedy people got better from my support but weren't willing to listen or offer that same support without monetary compensation. It's not their fault, I was not respectful of my own energy and I allowed myself to be used up without refilling myself.
I know I know... I wasn't giving myself the same care I was giving the rags until one of my most raggedy friends told me "GIRL YOU NEED TO HELP YO SELF". I laughed but his little ugly self was right. I did need to help myself so I listened to him.
I talk more about checking out to take care of yourself in an earlier blog post full of comical theatrics and dramatic flare titled "That bitch M.I.A". Stop here and go read that post, here is the link
Now that you are back can we say overactive heart chakra much? My friend Dawn taught me in her charka workshop that when you are healing your heart you might experience some over-activation or under activation. When your heart chakra is overactive you give and give and give until you have nothing left to give and you are laying somewhere looking for a charger because you let everyone else use yours now it has a short in it and you have to rig it on the side of the desk and sit your phone on it a special type of way or the electrical current won't travel through the cord right and you just looking stupid cause you don't have the mental energy or the executive functioning skills to just get up and go buy a new funky ass charger. Sound familiar to anyone?
I talk more about that in a post titled "You Suffering or Naw?" here is the link.
Now that you are back can you see how trifling healing and growth gets? It's so damn ghetto (my favorite word for the past 3 years). During this time my heart was so overactive and I didn't realize how much I'd healed and grown because I was still in the process. I opened myself up so much ridicule and judgment I became so defensive it was painful to watch. I was knee-deep in my own fertilizer and I was unable to find a place to put it so that it would bring forth a beautiful harvest.
That's when I got into the cult, what I found was that the cult was full of CREEPS! What is a creep? If you as asking you might just be one.
You know what a creep is no need for me to explain. We've all been there and some of y'all still getting your creep on.